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| Many
times people say, "We have thought about adopting."
But have they really thought about it? Do they truly
know what is involved? Here's a simple test to see if you
and your partner are really ready to move ahead. |
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There's
no score ...but here's a hint — you need to answer
all the questions with a big, undeniable YES! |
1.
Have you and your partner really talked adoption through?
Talk, talk, and then talk some more! Adoption must be a
decision made together. Don't try to "talk the other
person into it." Both partners must be committed to
the decision ...there is a lot of work to be done.
2. Have you researched your options for internation-al adoption?
Talk with people who have adopted |
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internationally.
If you don't
know anyone personally,
ask around. Check
out our references page.
These parents will be glad to talk to you about their experiences. |
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3.
Are you prepared for the prejudiced
comments people AND family may make when you announce your
intent to adopt an international child? You may hear
many comments such as "Why on earth would you want
to adopt a child? How can you be sure your child
is healthy? Who will the child date or marry when they are
older? I'm not sure I could love a child of another color."
Unfortunately, even as we enter the 21st century, prejudice
does exist.
4. Are you prepared for the microscopic scrutiny required
for international adoption? An in-depth home study by
a social worker is just the beginning. You will |
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also undergo a criminal record inquiry, be finger-printed
for the F.B.I. clearance and undergo medical testing for
AIDS and TB. Your physician will have to provide a letter
saying you are physically and emotionally fit to become
an adoptive parent. |
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5. Do you have a financial plan to pay for the cost
of international adoption? In addition to the agency
fees, there is the cost of the home study, several hundred
dollars in immigration-related fees, and travel expenses
abroad. Once the child is back in the United States, you
will also have the expense of "re-adoption." Yes,
international adoption can be expensive...but consider what
you're getting in return. Can you put a price on the love
and joy you and your child will share? Where there's a will,
there's a way.
6. Can you be away from home or work for an extended
period of time? While some agencies may provide escorts
for adopted children coming to the United States, most countries
require at least one adoptive parent to travel to the child's
birth country. Lengths of stay can be from 7 to 14 days.
7. Have you checked into your Health Insurance
Plan regarding coverage for an adopted child? Federal law requires all Group
Health Plans to underwrite an adopted child just as it would
a biological child. The key word here is "group plan."
If your health insurance is an individual policy or a small
office policy, your adopted child may or may not be |
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without a pre-existing clause. Check it out. Chances are
your adopted child will be healthy, but you need to protect
yourself from any unforeseen medical expenses. |
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8. Can you totally surrender all control and put your trust
in the agency you have chosen? Days seem like weeks
and weeks like months when you are waiting for THE phone
call from your agency. You must remember that it doesn't
matter how badly you want a child ... international adoptions
rarely happen fast enough. Once you have researched and
selected your agency ... stick with them. You will hear
all sorts of tales from people who have heard of people
"getting babies in three months!" Resist the temptation
to "agency-hop." If you're already "in-line"
with one agency don't lose your spot!
(This questionnaire was provided by Linda Benton, one of
our adoptive parents.) |
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